Ask Eve---She-Who-Knows

Conscious Gypsy on the Move

2008-04-07T19:52:00.000-07:00

Hello Ms. Eve- She-Who-Knows,

I just finished reading some of your columns and found them to be delightful! I was very amused as I read the questions others had asked and found some of the answers I was looking for! It inspired me to write to with my situation. In 8-10 weeks I will be leaving the security of my bi-monthly pay checks, and the job that is keeping me in a comfort zone and moving to Vancouver. I am going to be taking a leap of faith and putting myself in a position to pursue the dreams that I have always put on hold. This is not the first time I have moved and it will not be the last. I have a touch of gypsy in my soul! I am excited about my new venture and I have not yet told my family. I know they are energetically picking up on my intentions (especially my mother) and many mornings I wake up with a sense of dread and worry and strong feelings of failure. They usually melt away as I begin my day. I have taken a lot of steps (networking, sending out resumes, calling people, meditating and doing my energy work) to ensure I am as prepared as possible for my new life. I have a strong feeling that once I arrive at my new home things will work out. In the past when I have tried to follow my dreams I only got so far and then the family programming kicked in and I gave up on the life I wanted to create and went back on a more "traditional" path. I am finally ready to create for me, how can I keep from making the same mistakes I made in the past?

Thank You in advance for you insight!

My dear fellow gypsy,

I am sure that you are aware that in the morning you are waking up to feeling the emotions and communications of those you will be affecting with your move. Perhaps at night, out on the astral you are engaged in discussions and explanations to help your family accept your departure. But do not be worried that this can really stop you. These feelings are from those who are in a period of adjustment to the changes you are making. It is important to remember that ultimately, your family, those beings behind the personality and the pain that they carry, are in agreement to you becoming more and more who you are. They cannot consciously be aware of this truer love for you because they experience their pain far more then they experience their truth right now.

But what can hold you back is your resistance to their emotions, your resistance to the fact that they can still affect you and how you feel during your day. Bound up in that is the guilt of knowing that nothing you do in your life can ultimately affect their healing if they do not want to heal. So you must look carefully if there is any running going on your part. Are you trying to escape the guilt of being free when others are suffering? Does the guilt make you angry and then resentful sometimes? Is it the guilt programming or the family themselves that you are afraid has the power to make your give up your dreams? You are a very capable spirit and the only thing that has the power to stop you is within you. When you represent the one person in the family who has spiritual mobility, the guilt programming is very strong and then over the years the resistance to it builds up in the ego and it becomes your battle. When you engage in the battle of you against them, you have been caught and are no longer free, your energy and attention is engaged and now you are creating from inner conflict. Therefore, the family programming and attendant entities have won, because now it has what it wants: your energy.

Once you become immersed in the programming or the guilt (even if you experience it as other feelings or thoughts) you go into pain, and you engage in thoughts of blame for the pain, and thoughts of who is causing it. This is your programming coming alive in your thoughts, and the ego is back in charge. Instead, you need to turn into the pain and search for the keys to your freedom, your own healing. My dear, I know you have been doing this already. I think you are splendid and I see this move to Vancouver as a good thing for you. I see you looking for your spirit community, a place to land, to call your soul home and be yourself. Realize that some of the grief you believe belongs to your family also belongs to you. You grieve for what you cannot do for them, and this is a perfectly acceptable thing to feel and allow yourself--to an extent-not to dwell in. I want to suggest you do a ritual of grief before you leave and fully feel the futility of fighting the demands or needs you cannot fulfill for them. In essence your failure to heal them or have a tidy resolution, is the perfect order of the universe. In you finding your home and following your spirit, you provide for them the example of what can be done. In you healing yourself of your family agreements and programming your provide a possibility of what freedom can be obtained. Realize that as a woman in this world, guilt programming is abundant and you will continuously be kicking it out of your space for the rest of your life until this game is no longer played on the planet, so find some humour and make it part of your regular maintenance, a guilt cleanse, like clipping your toenails, nothing to take too seriously, just part of life right now.

Free yourself of the illusion that they or their programming can control you and realize if you give up your dream this time it will because you are not quite ready to live your life without the safety of those limitations that have been with you your whole life. And that is OK too.

When you tell your family you are leaving, try to understand their point of view and watch yourself for your reactions. Your reaction to their pain or emotion will tell you where in your body the programming resides etc. I know you know this already.

I do see you as an adventurer and that you have some traveling days ahead of you. And my dear, I do see your affinity for the north and I wish you a fulfilling journey and a happy life. Be gentle with yourself and greater compassion for yourself will give you greater compassion for those you leave behind. When you get to Vancouver, at first, immerse yourself in the company of like minded souls and do not allow yourself to get too isolated. Reach out to receive communication and connection in your first months. You will be fine.

love, Ms. Eve.

Dreaming of Another Life

2007-12-13T09:40:00.000-08:00

Dear Eve,

My issue is I have a `15 year marriage. I thought it to be pretty good in most aspects, except for the sexual side. That has not been present for 5-6 years..... Me being menopausal, etc. loss of interest etc. I just never wanted to.

Until recently, when a simple "touch" and a genuine show of compassion by a co-worker felt like it woke me up out of a deep depression that I did not realize I was in. I have been obsessed ever since. i THINK if he would approach me seriously, I am not sure that I would not have an affair with him, and hope for more. Thank goodness he has not. That was in August. Nothing more than the usual office teasing, a few emails with double meanings to them, slight touches of removing hair from my shoulder to see if I would allow it and I did, most of it inititated by him with me following his lead. He has mentioned on a couple of occasions that he is all talk. I agreed that yeah I know that. He has a live in girlfriend that he claims is a great person, but doesn't feel the need for marriage right now in his life. He also is raising his 9 year old son.

This is totally disrupted my current relationship with my husband. I obsess about it all day, and I mean all day. First thought in the morning and last at night. I constantly think about a sexual relationship as well as a relationship with him and helping him raise his child (forgot to mention, I never had the wonderful opportunity of having children and this draws me to him also). I love his life with doing family things and such. He is 48, I am 51 and my husband is 50 and his girlfriend is 37. I have never found myself in such a dilemma. Oh yeah, the menopause thing is going on too. What is wrong with me? Why can I not shake this obsession of a future with this man and his child? I know it is never going to be. Can you help me to see what I am doing? If he has no intensions,and is just bored too, and that is why all the come here, but not too close stuff is going on. I need help Eve. Please give me your wonderful insight.

Thank you very much,
--Can't Stop Dreaming.

Dear Sleeping Beauty,

I see that this man has helped awaken you to your life. Your life is nowhere near being over at the young age of 50 and it looks like you needed a little reminder to realize this. Yes, you have been asleep, but your spirit is conspiring to create events that will make you wake up to the truth that there is much more you want to express and BE in this life. Your spirit is the real provocateur here and it recruited the man in the office to help get things going. It is a gift to be shown that there is still a spark of desire left and that it can be kindled into a fire. But the real fire you are looking for is your passion for LIFE.

And this is the theme of your questions. You have been awakened to look at your life and the desire for more passion in your life is what you are feeling. But I do not mean just sexual passion, but passion for living. You are focused on the man, but it is really just a symbol. You must look for what it is within you that is keeping you from having a passionate, full, fulfilled, juicy life. Who is the gatekeeper to living you own authentic life? It is within you, and only you are the one stopping you. You can blame many things within you for being the gatekeeper denying you your life, but you are the Queen of your Universe and it is only through your permission that the gatekeeper keeps denying you.

I must advise you not to take the man in the office too seriously. See him as the mischievous elf who helped awaken you. He is not in any place to support you through the break up of your marriage, should you two get together. He has told you honestly that is not his intention. When a man is that honest, hello! Pay attention! He is unrealized and somewhat asleep himself, so for more than one reason, he is not a good partner for you right now. Getting involved with him would make a bigger mess that would take some time to clear. Note that you said: "You love his life". You have a fantasy about what his life is, and you think you want it. But what you want is to love your own life. You need to turn your attention to yourself and start asking yourself the hard questions.

Mid-life is a very important time when a woman steps into her wisdom and her true power. You have so much left to give and to create. Menopause is merely the physical part of the transformation of your power and creativity into other channels. Other cultures revere and value this stage, our culture is ignorant about this to a great extent, so it is more challenging. But let me tell you, it is possible to have an incredibly stimulating, passionate Diva life no matter what number you are. Do not use excuses such as age, menopause, fantasies, society, your husband, your co-worker, your job, your this, that and the other thing, to HIDE from LIFE any more. LIFE has tapped you on the shoulder. Don't wait for a kick in the pants.

For a women, it is never to late to be a mother. In fact, we are called upon to "mother"all the time regardless of what stage we are in. If this is truly something you wish to experience, like a yearning, there are many children in need. You could be a mentor, a foster parent, a volunteer, there are so many ways to fulfill this wish for the mother experience. Truly, you have to face this regret and transform it into bringing something powerful into your life. Right now, you are living in the past and regret is keeping you stuck and not looking at what you could create instead. Perhaps it is some fear that keeps you in regret rather than stepping forward and looking at what you could create. You are perhaps keeping yourself closed to this out of fear when it is something that is clearly important. If you can release your thoughts and judgments on what could have been and face your fears about opening up more to life, you can transform your life.

It is time for you to investigate all your deepest desires and take hold of the reins in this powerful time of transformation. You must be the detective in your own life and find out what next needs to be done. Start paying more attention to your dreams, take up journaling, taking classes, reading books that help you --follow you intuition in choosing them and classes--you must investigate, excavate, search for the real you. Heal and release the past, make the changes you need to make.

Yes, you are obsessed right now, your perceptions, attention and energy are bound in an energy loop that keeps you thinking of this man non-stop. It will not stop until you make it stop by investing your attention, day by day, where it really should be: on yourself and your life. You must cut the cord of that loop, as deceivingly delicious as it can be, and realize it is only there to wake you up. You will not have relief from it until you discipline yourself to make some changes, then it will subside. First you will need discipline and self love, then you will find new creativity emerging and you will follow that effortlessly.

Honey, it's hardly ever just about a man. Men are like chocolate, to be enjoyed and savored, and to be companions, friends and lovers. They are not there to solve your life or remake you life. You alone are responsible for living from your passion and purpose. You are lucky to wake up. Now you must embrace the opportunity to grow, evolve, and enjoy your life more than ever. Yes, open your arms to embrace the new you and mother her into BEING.

Yes, you can do it.
love, Eve.

I hate my new job!

2007-11-28T10:02:00.000-08:00

Hı Eve

I don't know ıf you could possıbly have a quıck thınk about somethıng for me. Basıcally I've been ın my new job one week and I absolutely hate ıt!!! I'm 90% convınced that I should pack ıt ın once I get back from vacation but there's just that lıttle voıce ın my head that says I've worked so hard to achıeve thıs to walk away and go back to the ınsecurıty of tempıng. I work in an excellent and famous childrens hospital for two prominent surgeons. One of the surgeons that I'll be workıng for ıs an absolute nıghtmare...I'd love just a lıttle poınt ın the rıght dırectıon ıf you are able...and now the battery ıs goıng to dıe on thıs laptop. I get back to London from my vacation on Tuesday, and I'm absolutely dreading going to work. I was so looking forward to this big step in getting more settled in my life.

I'd be so grateful for any advıce you can offer.

Thank you,
Samantha, or I should say : Doomed to Temping in London, England

Dear Soon to be Reprieved,

My sympathies to you, dear for having to deal with more than one obnoxious British surgeon at a time. When I look at you as a spirit, I wonder what possibly could have convinced this young women that she would enjoy this job anyway? And for any person who struggles with being sensitive to energy and aware of spirit, a hospital is at best, a very challenging place to work. After all , it is first, a very atheist place! Most often energy or spirit is not considered or believed to be part of the healing process. This to Eve, is hilarious and tragic at the same time. So much needless suffering. But I digress! Please-- readers out there,--do not send me letters about how all this is changing. I have been in some fine hospitals recently to visit people and I say the changes are not coming fast enough. It's almost silly of you dear Samantha to have believed that a psychic woman such as yourself could repress her natural abilities and squish herself into this proper role. Let's not even get into the punishment that comes to a clairvoyant when they see the power games going on in hospital politics.

Samantha, you must follow the voice of your spirit and listen to what it is telling you. Think of the old cliche question of if you only had 30 days left to live, would you get up in the morning and trudge off to some invalidating experience day after day until you number was up, so to speak. What is it in your mind that has decided that in order to achieve your dreams you have to squeeze yourself into this role of assistant to living nightmares. (Incidentally, I do feel sorry for a person who is so lost they have to be a nightmare to the people around them)

I see that you are afraid you cannot have your dream, that the obstacles are insurmountable, and you have fallen victim to your fears and are partly influenced by the group agreement around you. I see that you are undecided about which of your dreams to pursue first, but want desperately to be settled, and are feeling the pressure to have babies (from the baby spirits themselves too--the little pests), and the job at least was going to provide you with security. But the more you crave security the more you realize that the gap between your fears and your faith in your creativity is getting wider. You must attend to your fears and how they are pushing you to seek security above all else. Your dreams should never play victim to your fears, because then you you are creating from your fears, which are painful lies any way. It is very hard to create what you truly want, and that which validates you completely, from a lie.

I believe you had this experience as a wake up call. The beauty of being in the limbo world of temping is it exposes you to many things and gives you the opportunity to work your creativity without comittment while you distill the essence of your dreams and what you want your life to become. Try another perspective other than judgment when you examine your life. See it as a beautiful sumptuous carpet you are weaving and take care of the threads you weave into and the overall pattern you are reaching for.

Oh dear, there I go again off in the la-la land of one of my metaphors....I will leave you with one last remaining thing to chew over. What part of you, internally, is like a nightmare surgeon, cutting off a part of your spirit?

love, Eve.

Boca Raton Bargain Hunter

2007-11-07T08:32:00.000-08:00

Dear Ms. Eve,

I'm a little embarrassed to be writing you as my problem may not seem to be very spiritual or important compared to some of the others in your column. Thanks for that by the way, I mean the column. I enjoy reading it though I don't always understand it, I think I'm learning something new all the time.
Anyway, I have a problem with shopping.
I love to shop. I know you can relate to the love of shopping, because you mentioned you like fine luggage and you sound like you have good taste.
I love the feel of quality materials in my hand and I love looking for bargains.
My husband doesn't understand my obsession, of course. He does put me on a budget, though, and sometimes it bothers me, but then sometimes I'm grateful. But actually, money is not my problem. I am not sure what my problem is but lately, it's not just guilt about having alot of stuff. Now I am accumulating things I don't really need and giving away great bargains to my friends. But then, I go shopping again and it gives me that buzz, I like the hunt. How can I find fulfillment in my life with something else? Shouldn't I be doing something else with my free time?

Boca Raton Bargain Hunter

Dear Mighty Shopper,

Thanks for the compliments on the column.

Now, dear, I must say, you are correct, I do love an occassional spree at the Mall and I have been known to very occassionally caress my luxury leather luggage, but I am not the mighty bargain hunter you seem to be.

And I don't think you have anything necessarily to feel guilty about. It is so typical of a woman to belittle her skills and judge her talents. You obviously have a talent as a BUYER. Did you know that this is a very respectable profession? Who do you think is responsible for what shows up at your local Macys Department store? A professional buyer. Never mind that your hubby has no clue to the value of your nose for bargains. I bet all your best girlfriends do as they are getting the benefit of your talents as you are giving them stuff for free.

I want you to consider that there is no shame in having a talent for buying, especially, if it is about buying value. Now, there are many ways to look at your dilemma and change your perspective to one that is more aligned with your truth. You secretly know you have a talent, but you just don't have any validation for it and can't find a way to plug it in to a sense of community or a sense of making a contribution with it.

The reason you get a buzz like feeling from it is that when you are engaged in your favorite activity your female creative energy gets going and this powerful energy, which is the same energy that we use to make a baby and create with every day, this energy gives you a healing, and you feel more yourself when it is flowing. Is that not true?

What you need is a change of perspective, not a change of talents. You are in an ideal position to make a contribution to community by selling the items you don't need on a website, like Ebay, and donating part of the profits or all, to a non-profit foundation that you can choose--or even more exciting--a non profit organization that you create. Maybe one that benefits women or your favorite cause. You can shop with a purpose and shop for yourself at the same time.

The other thing you can do, if it appeals to you, is open a little shop. Why give away the finds when they can create jobs and profits, of which, all wealthy advisors say, 10% should go to charity. I see that it could be a big success. I can see that your children have grown and are doing well. Your husband is content with what he is doing. Whose permission do you need?

Stop judging your joy, and instead re-direct your purpose. Fulfilling your passion in a way that keeps you connected to community and able to contribute is the way to go.

Have fun, darling, and let me know what you've decided to do.
Love, Ms. Eve.

Sea Belt Fastened?

2007-10-26T10:41:00.000-07:00

Dear Ms Eve,

Firstly I would like to thank you for sharing your wisdom and experience and wonderful collages with us. I am writing to you about an issue which I have been turning around in my mind for quite some time and am hoping that you can help me sift through it. I am pregnant with my second child and this pregnancy feels very different to my first. This is probably natural but I feel less "in communication" with the baby than I did with my first child and although I am sure that that could be because I have less time this time round I wonder if there is any other reason. In a reading with a very wise and trusted clairvoyant before I got pregnant, I was told that one of the spirits who energy was stacked up on to be our child was a boy and that I the spirit had my doubts since I felt his karma was linked much much more to my husband and his family than my own. I think I the spirit was worried or "concerned" that it would be a challenge to feel "loved & connected as a mother" since his connection is/was so strong to my husband rather than me. That was my understanding of the information relayed to me by this very trusted and respected clairvoyant. She told me at the time that a lot of things were being negotiated and therefore would/could change. Later on - in my own amateur clairvoyant space - my information showed very clearly a girl spirit and that she would be born to us. We found out recently in a scanning - that we are expecting a boy ! I am writing to you for 3 reasons. The first is that I feel a bit nervous about this idea that we may not be as "connected" as my first child and I are. Secondly I feel a bit insecure since my own reading was so wrong and until now I have trusted my information quite a lot. Lastly I wonder what kind of mother I am going to manage to be this time around if our relationship doesn't flow. Do you have any advice on what I should prepare myself for. I a little nervous about the roller coaster ride ahead of me - life changed so radically first time round. Thanks for listening .......

Seat belt fastened :)

Dear Super Brain Woman,

How lucky this child is to have such an intuitive mother.

Let me first say, that I'm not the least bit worried for you and your bond with this child. Then, I must say, that I can imagine your trusted clairvoyant adviser would be rolling her eyes far back in her head if she could read your words and realize that you have built up a worry about this...Her eyes might roll far, far back in her head until perhaps her chair tipped backwards...

This is the power of your huge intellectual minds ability to make a mountain out of molehill and most importantly to create a present event--your blocked present time communication with this babys spirit --out of a past communication/event. Take a moment to sit back and let this sink in. You have allowed a past truth to become a present truth. Where months ago, your spirit was working through it's pictures (concerns) about your husbands strong karma with this spirit, your mind has carried on as if your spirit still has these concerns. If your spirit was really worried or against this child coming in, do you think it would have allowed it to happen? You must have faith in your own spirit. Your mind has decided that your intuition was wrong about the girl spirit. Your mind suggests that your intuition was a figment of your imagination, or a delusion. How do you know? Perhaps you will have that girl spirit but she will have transformed into a boy, for reasons you will understand later. Or perhaps that girl spirit is another baby you will have in the future. The future does not exist to spirit in the same way as it does to the human mind. Your communication and intuition was correct, it remains for your mind to come to grips with how it all manifests.
When I look at this spirit that is to be your baby, yes, he is presenting as a boy, but a what a big, wonderful jolly spirit he is. He is full of laughter. Yes, his karma with his father is wonderful, and perhaps he is going to teach his father to be more jolly. But he has good karma with you and you will have to have faith in that before you are able to see it for yourself. It is as if you are talking to him and sending your communication to something out there and he is standing in another place shouting "I'm over here!" Change your picture of him by seeing him from openess rather through the lens of self-criticism, fear, or expectations that your mind has set up for you. It is clear to me that your concerns as a spirit from months ago have been resolved. This baby is bringing to you something you have dearly wished for, but it is not for me to say what. That will be part of the beautiful discoveries you make on your own as his loving, wonderful mother. If I have anything to say about what you should be prepared for is that you should be prepared to have your mind challenged many times and that you will enjoy it.

Eve says: Stop worrying darling, and create a new communication with your darling boy from the place of "not knowing".

love, Ms. Eve.
PS. I'll tell Ms. Francine Marie you like her collages. Personally, I am not so crafty so I asked her if I could use her Eve series--and stay tuned there are more of those coming.

Vicious Cycle or Going in Circles?

2007-10-25T19:34:00.000-07:00

Dear Eve,

I would like to ask you a question about my financial situation. Specifically, I need to change the way I make a living. I am a medical social worker at a hospital, but never really planned to do this for a living. Many years ago I started working at County Mental Health clinics and then hospitals in order to make a living while working toward getting licensed as a psychotherapist. I wasn't able to get credit for my work hours and became discouraged about getting licensed. Also, managed care came about and that reduced the payments to therapists for psychotherapy. I began then to return to my earlier love which was music. I started slowly to develop a music/voice student practice which was very part-time. I have taught students off and on now for 6 years.

My student numbers fluctuate wildly and unless I pay a lot for printed display ads (which take most of my earnings from students) I really don't have enough students to pay the bills. I've been juggling both my hospital job and students part-time for awhile now and I need a change. I am so burnt out at the hospital but don't know how I can make a living to pay the bills if I were to quit. I keep looking for another less stressful part-time job that will pay the bills, but haven't found one in 4 years.

Can you see a way I can change this seemingly stuck scenario? It feels like a vicious cycle. I keep hoping my student numbers will grow to the point that I can keep cutting back on my hospital job, and sometimes it gets close, but it just doesn't happen.

I am also doing an internship to gather hours for licensure to get my MFT. I would like to do dream groups and dream work with couples as well as therapeutic voice work. Somehow it seems like I need my MFT license to create these things and to demand enough money to pay my bills. I really only need $4K /month to survive but would love to build a business that creates wealth. I am a former business owner and love the entrepreneur lifestyle. I lost everything when my partner left me with all the bills. Anyway...pls let me know if you see the way through this situation.

Tristique

Dear Tristique,

Darling, I do so wish I could wave my magic wand over your head and POOF all this big knot of ensnarled confusion could go away.

Strange that you have chosen this name Tristique for your pen name so to speak because Triste in French means sad. And that is the first feeling that I pick up from your letter, a sadness or a grief at not following your hearts desire.

I see your dilemma as being more about your approach than that of there being a blocked road. It is not your financial situation that is the REAL thing holding you back but it's your thoughts about your financial situation and your fears that hold you back and make a snarl of things.

If you have an issue about the past betrayal of being left with the bills you need to address that, clean up that situation and finish with it, even if it means never recovering any money. You are still using that experience as a punishment and self judgment. It is still costing you energy. Is it an excuse or is it an unresolved pain that needs to be healed? Is there some communication you need to give to this person? In person, by letter or? What do you need to do to quit giving the past your energy or using it as a reason not to be fearless. You do not have to be the victim of past experiences unless holding on to the experience or being a victim of it has a payoff for you. What is the payoff of continuing to be a victim of it or being in judgement? Could one payoff be that you don't have to take the steps that scare you?

OK, so about the piece of paper you feel you need. Get it. If this is what proves to you your value, get the paper. But realize that if you do not see your value now, you will not own your value later, even if you do have the piece of paper. Only, you will be more equipped to furnish a facade that you feel you must hold up to the world. I think you should give yourself a deadline to get that paper, and beyond that no more, do not spend more time on it.

I also suggest you see a financial adviser. Even people who have no money should learn about finance from an expert so they can learn how to use money in the best service to their dreams when it comes to them. Make a plan to have more money.

Figure out your goals, what you truly want to do and hire someone,--they are worth the money--to see what are the practical steps to do what you want. That includes putting money aside for any old unfinished business, old bills, get those out of the way, quit spending your energy on those old worries, instead make a plan that deals with them. You are spending so much energy on worry and guilt and confusion, you need to allow yourself to bring your messy self to someone who has the proper perspective to help your organize your future. Interview your financial adviser or coach to make sure they are aligned with your goals. This is a tool that must work for you, not a person who will make you feel inadequate or guilty. You say you have the entrepreneur spirit. A great entrepreneur has a vision of what they want and then they hire people who are better than them at certain things to take care of the things they are not so good at, all in the service of their vision. If you believe in your vision, you must take good care of it and get out of the way sometimes, and be willing to take in good advice and act on it.

When I look at your spirit, I keep seeing the symbol of a butterfly. There is a transformation that is begging to take place within you. You also want to shed the last old beliefs that say you can't do it, and that you are not good enough to have your dreams.

I see that you want to combine the counseling part of you with the healing music, and other things to create wonderful multi-layered learning and healing experiences. I don't see that anything you are presently doing in your life is fully your hearts desire. But these things have helped you develop and learn what you truly want to do.

Don't you know that teachers learn, as they are teaching, what they are supposed to be teaching? Some say that you are just the vehicle that the teaching is coming through in that moment, and the students are your teachers too. All you need is the desire to learn, the vision of what you want and the agreement with the group of students for some wonderful things to transpire, that will aid you in your transformation. In short, what is needed is all kinds of communication--with yourself, and your guides, and your connection or the divine, and with people. You have been creating a bit in isolation. Must you slog through it alone? NO!

When you are more aligned with your hearts desire, yourself, you will not need to place so many ads.

I would say that your first step is refining your vision. Journaling, drawing, meditating--whatever is your way of getting it clear.
Next step, look at where your energy is being drained create a plan to put an end to the things that you waste energy on, past, present, future.
Next, get financial advise to help you draw out a plan of what you need to accomplish your dreams or create your vision, end old karma or cycles. Do not be conservative.

Use the power of the Hawk to fly over your life and get perspective. You have been stuck on the ground too long darling, you need to move that body and start shedding layers.

My goodness, this column is getting much too long. I can't condense everything into this little space! Dear, if you need permission from a wise woman or two or a mentor or two or three, find those.

Visualize that you have all the power of the women who have found their way out of hardship to follow their dreams standing behind you and decide that you will find a way, step by step.

You are about to break through the classic female programming of taking care of other people before following your dreams. First, you must take better care of yourself and your dreams, step by step, day by day. I really feel that you are divided about your goals and are not fully committed to them yet. Why? This is a good question to ask yourself. One reason is that you keep looking for a solution in your mind. All creation starts with spirit and energy, so you must engage your real creativity, your spirit.

The vision has to come first. And then you must call on the brave heart within you to make it manifest. I could blab on for a lot more but my dear, but this is supposed to be a little column, not a full reading.

Best of luck to you dear, remember the universe will respond when you stand up to claim your dream.

love, Eve, a fellow entrepreneur.

Doubting Love

2007-10-16T09:23:00.000-07:00

Hi Eve

I am so excited to write to you because I need help and don't know where to turn for it. I am a very young 30 year old woman and I have had so much trouble in love. I could barely get over the loss of my first love several years ago, and since then, have been with nothing but jerks. However. I happened to cross paths with a man named Eli whom I have had the most amazing connection with. I have always been somewhat psychic myself, and I have never been able to see my future with any guy I have dated or been with or cared about. Even the ones I loved, and the ones I wanted to share my life with at the time...even those... I felt the need for them, but could never see it....my future with them. And this has scared me in some ways for years, because not only could I not see my future with people I dated, but I have never been able to see a future for myself at ALL. This all made it more wonderful when I saw my future with Eli. I could immediately see a future with him, and fell desperately in love. So I ask you Eve, is Eli the one for me? The one I should marry and have a family with? Share my life with ? There are things that make me doubt it sometimes, but..the connection with him is amazing, and my love for him doesn't ever lessen. Please Eve, please tell me if he is my soulmate and the one for me...and if so, what is our future to be? If he isn't the one for some reason, please let me know who IS the one, and when he will come into my life and what future I have with him...thanks so much Eve, I wait anxiously for your reply.

Doubting Love

Dear Doubting,

My dear, I think your question is about the issues of certainty, trust, and fear rather than about wanting to know such a thing as your "destiny". First of all, I should tell you I don't believe in "destiny".

You have been hurt, you have "lost", and you want to prevent that from happening again. Even better, you have wiled away some time with "jerks" and have lost a little trust in yourself.

We are all uncertain about our future and don't want to do anything to risk getting hurt again or experiencing loss. But life is not meant to be lived safely in your bed at home. You are meant to experience the full spectrum of possible experiences during your spiritual evolution, as much as you are willing to allow yourself. If your life is a rich one, you will experience losses and joy, sorrow and bliss, anger and grace, and so on. As they say, one must experience one extreme to know the other. Nothing I say can make a spirit that is hungry for experience and wanting to express itself, lead a safe life. Indeed it is only fear that gives you the illusion that safety is what you want. So, why would I counsel you to walk the safe and boring path? I would be telling you to be something other than what you were born to be.

The future, my dear, is being created all the time, and is most definitely not cast in stone. You are on a path to gain your certainty about your own intuition, to trust that inner knowing, and you must follow your own inner compass. If your inner voice is telling you to grab onto this experience of being with this fellow, then you must follow it. There is no better voice to follow. It will lead you to the experience your soul needs to grow. Will the road always be smooth? Will this person never disappoint you? Of course not. The nature of human relationships is that they are the most complex and intense learning experience on the planet-- but rich and rewarding, even the ones we judge as bad. If you take away the judgment you can begin to find a new perspective and unearth the treasure that was beneath your suffering in the past. The real questions to ask yourself are: Is this the person I want to accompany me on this journey called LIFE? Is this person the partner I envision beside me on this rollercoaster ride people call life's journey? Or: Will we be able to understand what each other is saying while we are screaming down the steep part of the ride at breakneck speeds? OK, lovey, that's just me being humorous, but I hope you understand what I am saying.

Will you be OK? Darling, of course, you will always be OK. You came from the light and to the light you will return--there is nothing you cannot heal from whether it is today, in this body or beyond the body. If your spirit says you should follow love, follow it, and know that to love fully is a gift, no matter what else happens. The more you develop your certainty in your own intuition, the more you will learn that your intuition was leading you in a direction you needed to go, for one reason or another.

I wish you the blessings of love fulfilled.
Ms. Eve

Vegas Loser?

2007-10-10T14:34:00.000-07:00

Dear Eve,

I was just in Las Vegas a few weeks ago and one night when I was at my favorite bar at the Bellagio I met a really neat guy. We spent the weekend together and it was fantastic. He is a professional poker player or at least that is what he told me. I'm back home now but I haven't heard from him, he is not returning my calls. He had a tournament coming up and was very excited about it and promised he come and visit me. Should I just give up? I guess it was just a fling?

Vegas Lover

Dearest VL,

I have to admit, this town of mine has been the backdrop for many a sad story with a gambling theme. That clever marketing routine of "What goes on in Vegas stays in Vegas" works for a reason. People seem to come here sometimes to try on alternate personalities. Hmmm...

As for your lover turned disappearing act, I'm sorry to say, I don't see much hope for this affair. When I look at your young man, he seems addicted to his profession in such a way that he lives the highs and lows to extreme degrees. It seems as if he is battling to maintain the highs and then he cannot sustain the mood or this high vibration for a prolonged time and starts to crash. There is part of him that is addicted to the whole up and down cycle. When he is up he is generous and fun, like your best girlfriend, full of enthusiasm combined with an amorous man of course. When he is down it is like death, and his vibration is so low, to a woman it looks like he is a death's doorstep. When he is in low gear, his body is attempting to heal itself, but his mood is dour. Right now he is in a very low state, looks like something happened to his car too, and he is in survival mode. He probably lost a bunch of money at the tournament. Dear, this guy is trouble, and you can do better. He needs to find a way out of this endless cycle and roller coaster he is on. Unfortunately, casinos and others make a lot of money off people with these kind of problems. One aspect of his struggle is that when he is up, the vibration is to high for his body to maintain, and when he is down his spirit leaves his body and another entity comes in that is not much fun to be around.

He has some years to go before he gets a handle on this. I understand that you two had a load of fun when he was on top of the world, but he is just not good relationship material right now. For one thing, he could have at least been more honest about the way his life is going right now. But of course, when one is in that high flying state it's as if it will be like that forever. So, luckily, you found this out before your heart got too involved and you decided to try and save him. (harrumph) Right now, he is just too embarrassed to call. Embarrassed that he portrayed himself one way and he is now down in the dumps and out of control. Let's wish for him that he finds some help. Sometimes it's not just the substance that one is addicted to but something far more difficult to define and explain.

Look closer to home honey, I see someone just around the corner (figuratively) for you. Has something to do with knitting. (that's a strange clue, I know, because I don't knit either)
Love, Ms. Eve.

Eve Returns/Question Selection

2007-10-09T14:40:00.000-07:00

Gentle Readers,

I have been away for a bit, on an extravagant adventure to Outer Mongolia. I went spontaneously on a journey at the invitation of a dear old friend who was retiring from his post at the Asian Wall Street Journal. He created an incredible adventure for a small group of friends in celebration of his life. His retirement was unexpected and sudden, due to the discovery of a terminal illness or at least that is the way his doctors phrased it. To me, this beautiful spirit had decided it was time to make his exit and he bid farewell to all his friends by throwing this wild and generous 3 week traveling adventure. Yes, I was lucky to be there and I have to say, I did not miss the "real world". Being in the outer realms on this beautiful planet helps you remember who you really are without all your gizmos and gadgets and chit chat. And reminds us, as the cliche says, what is really important. My dear friend Andre, you will be missed.

Now, my readers, I want to remind you, as I have returned to a pile of emails, that I go through the questions sent to me and pick out the ones that I feel will be the most interesting to my readers, so I apologize that I cannot answer every question that is sent to me.

Also, I want to remind you that it is important that you narrow your questions to ONE question and really focus on that and give us a little context to make it interesting. Please do not be stingy and send me one dry little line. Flesh it out a little if you want to catch my interest. If you want to know something about your relationship, what exactly do you want to know? There is so much to look at in relationships. What aspect of the relationship? I don't like questions that are extremely vague and indicate to me that the writer is hiding under a rock, afraid to be looked at. Energy is real, just ask any physicist. Actually, I could refer you to a few in particular, I've had two beaus who were scientists, and they were geniuses and gentlemen in more ways than one. But let me not digress down memory lane...Please, if you are not sure that you believe in energy, psychics, and are afraid of having your aura read --don't write to me. An old psychic lady like me does not have the patience to track you down and convince you to come out from under your rock and open up to spirit.

Oh dear, it looks like today is turning into a bit of a rant. Well, maybe Ms. Eve is feeling a bit cranky today. You see, I am far from perfect. In fact, perfect is seldom used in my vocabulary except maybe to describe the first forkful of hot chocolate lava cake after a long day.

Dears, I'll get back to the column tomorrow. I guess I am in a bit of mourning for my friend and I have shown you the cantankerous old biddy that lies beneath the surface of glamorous me. Cranky Eve occasionally emerges and reveals her impatience with the silliness of the world. Now, where is that chocolate cake?

Love, Ms. Eve.

Guilty As Ever

2007-09-13T10:10:00.000-07:00

Dear Eve,

I can't really relate to what you said about Guilt. I have a feeling that my being guilty doesn't help anything but I can't get over it anyway. I keep turning things over and over in my mind and I'm still feeling guilty but it doesn't change what decisions I make, so I know I am stuck somehow.

I don't remember my dreams about this issue so I don't have any clues there. Here is my story, or a very short version of it.

I had to put my mother in an assisted living facility because I can't take care of her myself. She has already had two falls that were very close to being critical for her, but luckily, she was OK and didn't break anything.

I love my career. I work as an attorney for a very big firm and I am very successful in what is still a male dominated field and I make a very good salary. I know though, that I should have my mother living with me and I should be taking care of her more than I do. She is forgetful and thank goodness, forgiving and doesn't seem to hold it against me. She divorced many years ago and is not interested in meeting anyone at this stage in her life. The worst thing is I am single and don't have the excuse of having children or a spouse to take care of, it's just my career that keeps me so engaged. Why am I wracked by guilt if guilt is so useless in your opinion?

Guilty As Ever, Los Angeles.

Dear Guilty (or Not Guilty in my opinion),

My dear, it is long past time to take yourself off the torture wrack of your guilty thoughts. Thoughts and worries are not necessarily the truth. They are often powerful because they are a pattern of energy in your space that can behave like an endless loop of repeating energy, dragging you and your energy system through a broken record like experience of negative emotions and self punishment. What good does this do for anyone? It only serves that which is trying to control you. Control you from what? Your freedom, your peace of mind, your answers, your free will, your truth, your ability to move forward, your validation---well, the list is endless in possibilities. Guilt is anchored in control and its dynamic varies from person to person. Who is controlling you? Does it matter? The dynamic exists in your space and it has to be your choice to heal it. From my perspective guilt operates primarily to keep you stuck. It does not validate action or healing, it is just self-perpetuating and validates stagnation, non-action. Sometimes it operates like an addiction. So, Ms. Guilt, that is just a brief overview of my views on guilt. I will look a bit at your "story", but it's most important for you to look at the guilt programming for yourself and make an intention to heal yourself before reviewing any decisions about your mothers care.

First of all, I see your mother is content where she is. She drifts in and out of her body and is primarily waiting for you to accept her eventual departure. She seems to enjoy the friendships at the home and it looks like she plays alot of cards, I see her enjoying her card playing partners and forming relationships with her fellow boarders. She worries and feels guilty about being a poor example in the relationship sense with her divorce. Can guilt be hereditary? Sure, bad habits can be passed on. And like you, she is programmed for guilt as so are most women--it's part of our "culture" too, right?

For you, I can see the tremendous validation you get from your career. I see the great things you are creating for yourself there, and that this career will satisfy you for many years to come, or that is at least what you are planning, lots of growth. What makes you think you would take better care of your mother than trained professionals? Are you a nurse too? Do you know how to be an emergency paramedic? Nutritionist? The last thing your mother would want is for you to sacrifice yourself. You should consider having a very in depth conversation with her. With some prompting she will tell you that she does not want to live in your home, and it would make her feel guilty too to keep your from your life. As well as lonely during the day. You need to take courage to have a very long talk with her.

Consider the possibility that you can take pride in the good work that you do. Consider instead the possibility in using the energy wasted in guilt to funnel towards some pro bono work or work in the community or just to serve your clients in the best way that you can. You, at your best, is what best serves the world, not you wracked in emotions and energies that drain your lifeforce from creating anything good. Guilt is a form of stagnation and stuckness that does no good. Don't get me started on the subject of Martyrdom!!

Ms. Lawyer Extraordinaire, I hope this stimulates your thinking and helps inspire you to heal yourself and find your truth about your relationship with your mother. I wish you peace.
love, Ms. Eve.

Cosmic Love Affair or Cosmic Curse?

2007-09-10T13:08:00.001-07:00

Dear Ms Eve,

Thank you for all the wise words and experience that you've been so generously and graciously guided to give us fellow Cosmic Divas. I really enjoy your column and it occurred to me that perhaps you might be able to shed some light on a little issue (only for about the last 15 years or so) that I've been having.

The issue is that I am certain I have this weird but VERY strong connection to a certain man that I met in my younger days. He's not ever paid me much attention except on a couple occasions. During those times our spiritual and emotional connections were so intense it literally seemed that time stopped and that we were on top of the world. It was so surreal but the upshot of it is that I think it scared the living hell out of me and it most definitely did him.

I am no longer in touch with him though I do think about him more frequently than I would like. I am happily coupled and have been for several years now with a wonderful partner however I had a huge shock during one of our recent moments of intimacy where for a time it felt like this other guy's energy had snuck into our relationship. Is that possible? I feel almost guilty in a way...like I was cheating. What is the meaning of it all? How do I make peace with the weird past I have with this man?

I'd be so happy and grateful if you could share some of your grace and understanding with me.

Yours truly,

Cosmic Diva

Dear Cosmic Diva,

Hmmm.... what a yummy question!! I realize that you said this little issue is 15 years old, and I laugh because for the spiritual explorer that you are, this is just a little speck of time in the vast eons of your cosmic experiences. You are a soul who is quite comfortable flitting around the universe in pursuit of experience and learning. But I also see the need for this experience to make sense as a human being and integrate it into your consciousness.

First let me say, that the vibration of guilt is not a very useful vibration for growth and learning. Guilt is an energy we humans use to control each other. Darling, if women really understood the extent to which they are programmed for Guilt on this planet there would truly be a revolution. Now this is not the same as Accountability and Responsibility. So let me say, that in looking at this situation for yourself, if you view it through the vibration or programming of guilt, you can't learn as much from it. Instead, discard the guilt and view it through your fabulous sense of humor.

Regarding the curse aspect of your question (the title of this posting is yours), have no fear, there is no aspect of curse in this karma you have with the gentleman in question. You do have a very intense karma with the gentleman and you as spirits have incarnated many times before in different relationships. And there was an element of "danger" in some of your relationships in that you "pushed the edge" in some of your experiences together, some of them were on the dark side. It is sometimes exciting for your spirit to look back on those, there is an attraction to being on the edge. Your spirit likes to push through fear and limits. As for gentleman, who is not always a gentle sort, he does feel some possessiveness towards you and feels free to trespass into your space.

Your question is really about choosing to focus on your path this lifetime and choosing to have a communication with this ex regarding your boundaries. While there are things that attract him to you and you to him, your lesson is about having seniority in your communication with him, and choosing to challenge yourself and your present limits towards growth in your current relationship. The man from the past stimulates a mixture of fear and excitement. This in turn stimulates the fear you have holding you back from reaching certain levels in your present relationship. Eventhough it's a really good present relationship, your spirit wants to take another step. Your ex man would have you dwell in the past excitements and tempt you with further out of body experiences. Your present man is waiting for you both to reach that next level as well, so he is generously neutral to this experience you are having with the ex, but not forever. Do not go into guilt and try to explain yourself or confess your dilemma to him. This challenge is for you to deal with. Can you break with the past, and the excitement of what was, and face whatever is holding you back from the next discovery? While the past can be seductive, you can see the whole experience as a manifestation of a hidden limit that is coming to light. Because the life that most matters is the one you are living in the body, where you are trying to integrate your spirit into present time. It is easy to go off and flit around the universe in our astral bodies. It is challenging sometimes to have experience of spirit within the body, within human relationships, but that is what I see on your path right now. An opportunity to go further that scares you a little. And Mr.Ex is just a distraction, eventhough a stimulating one, I do see that dear, believe me. We all get distracted, especially when we are not ready or afraid of the learning ahead. Not to worry though, this is all part of your plan, you the spirit know what you are doing.

Dear one, I know I have gone on at length and I hope this has made some sense. Let me finish by saying: you are an adventuresome spirit, who is capable and was born free. You will find your answer. For now, my advice is to claim the wonderful creation of the relationship with your partner, and focus on that, expand on that. And to use the experience with the gentleman from the past as an opportunity to gain confidence in your ability to turn away from something that does not add to your life today, and your abililty to put that boundary down to someone who doesn't always respect boundaries or communication. You will find what you are seeking when you are ready to take the leap. This Mr. ex is not what you are seeking for this lifetime, but his appearances are very useful in helping you take your steps toward what you really want.

It's all so much fun this LIFE, isn't it? No matter what, the rollercoaster ride is always worth it, even if we find ourselves screaming in terror along the way....most of the time the ride is really funny.
Ah well, hope that helps you deal with that seductive man who keeps showing up. He does look possitively yummy---but life in the body can be even yummier--at least I always found a real man is even more delicious. I don't know where Mr. ex is by the way, he seems very disconnected from his body this lifetime, mostly out there in space.
Love, Ms. Eve

I dont' want to Join a Marching Band !

2007-08-27T11:18:00.000-07:00

Dear Ms. Eve,

Last night I had the funniest, weirdest dream. I can't remember most of it but towards the end I was trying to join a marching band and I have zero interest in doing something like that.

Toward the end, in the dream I was relaxed and lying on my side, and my skin was very tan or even, perhaps just darker than usual. I was pretty full of myself and waiting to hear if I was going to be accepted into this marching band and feeling voluptuous, large, not fat, but out of place. I had more skin showing than most everyone else and was not yet issued a uniform. My older sister was there, pretty gung ho on the whole marching band thing. The coach was praising me on my efficiency or precision steps like I was very nimble when I passed some quick jumping test earlier or something like that. But in the back of my mind in my dream I was going, What am I doing here?! My sister looked very lean and ready to go, but I was thinking I am wasting my time, and then, I woke up. What is all that about? I can't even read music. What am I doing having this dream? Why does it feel like a warning but actually was kind of a pleasant dream though I did think I was there kind of by mistake? Something is bothering me about this dream but I can't put my finger on it.

--Voluptuous Non Marcher

Dear Voluptuous,

How well I know what it is like to march to the beat of a different drummer. Even better, I know what it is not to even hear the beat and to refuse to march. So many of us keep ourselves from dancing to our own music and instead flail around trying to conform to the rigid rules and expectations of others. A marching band has very specific instructions and can be very fun for some people but it is not the metaphor to use for the independent spirit who is seeking to fulfill it's unique purpose. It is a group endeavor for which there has to be a strong group agreement.
And I can see that as a spirit you have long questioned your belonging to this particular group, represented symbolically by the band and long questioned the agreement among it's participants.

I found your questions intriguing, so I went to your spirit and asked them myself. By the way, I wouldn't be surprised if this is a dream you had in the early morning, just as your energy was starting to come back to into your body. At that "time" we often find ourselves trying to process issues that are very much body related and related to those other people and beings whom we are dealing with on a regular basis, such as family, etc.

As I see it, you are quite comfortable with your rebel or outsider role in your family group. The darker skin, and less clothing, and your comfort symbolized your ability to be comfortable standing out in the crowd and indentifying yourself as someone different. It is nice that this status didn't bother you. So many people are afraid to stand out. I think that this dream was a communication to yourself that you are being distracted by measuring yourself against family members and indulging in trying to jump through hoops that in the end don't mean that much to you. You were pleased by the coach's praise ( a Daddy figure if I ever saw one) and that praise made you stick around and keep wondering if you were going to be issued a uniform...so you could look like everyone else. But when you looked down and at your beautiful brown abundant flesh you liked what you saw and wondered how you were going to squeeze it all into that constricting uniform. The uniform represented the rules, and the prize for belonging, but belonging also meant hiding part of who you really are under the uniform, and agreeing to the group agreement (or set of rules) So there is a price to pay for the belonging and it looks quite high. This is a dream that is above all a little slap upside the head saying: Hey! Where are you losing energy, giving too much energy to the consideration of getting involved in something (family agreements) that would require you to give up some freedom? As in, are you being distracted into something that would require you to give up or cover up a part of who you are?
Darling, I love the fact that your personality here shows up as a dark and luscious woman full of herself. She sounds free and unconfined. Maybe she has more wisdom for you to "download", this other aspect of you. Why don't you ask to dream of yourself this way again tonight and see what more you can learn?
Above all, ask yourself about the distractions in your life that are keeping your from pursuing what you really want. Perhaps it's time to cut out those distractions and focus once again on your hearts true desires. It may be that this dream is also about stepping out of the family agreement a little more and realizing that it's OK, you will find your place.

love, Ms. Eve. Who is also Voluptuous where she needs to be.

Who are you EVE?/I'm Confused

2007-08-21T08:24:00.000-07:00

Dear Ms. Eve,

I was just wondering if you are claiming to be the EVE reincarnated? Is Applebiter your real name? I've looked for you in the Las Vegas directory and haven't found anything.

Anyway, I do have a real question, even if you aren't the real EVE. Goddess help me, I'll take help from anywhere.

Last December I met a man who I have been incredibly drawn to but because he was new to my company, and we work in the same department, and all the problems with getting involved with co-workers, I decided to avoid getting involved with him. But lately we have become friends though I can sense he wants more eventhough I've given him no encouragement. I went through a divorce a year ago and really thought I was done with men for good. The problem is that he is in the middle of a divorce now. And I don't want add to the chaos in his life. He seems pretty tired and wrung out in general but when we have lunch together it seems to brighten his day and then he seems to pull back as if he knows it's crazy for him to get involved with anyone right now. Or am I imagining things? I seem to know what he is feeling but then I think I am crazy. I don't need a rebound romance in my life either. I feel very strongly and think he does too--then my sanity returns. I know he is about to say something and I want to have my mind made up before he decides he wants us to go out. I just want to know one way or the other so I can get on with my life. Tossing and turning over this attraction has me sleepless and confused.

Confused, San Diego Ca.

Dear Confused,

You are quite right, Applebiter is not my real last name, it is my Vegas stage name and the name of my metaphysical Diva self. I use if for privacy reasons. I am unlisted in the directories. All my clients have come to know me through word of mouth. Besides which, I am off traveling so much you would be very frustrated trying to reach me by phone even if you had my phone number. Now, you are free to dream of me and perhaps we will meet in the dreamtime or in your meditations.

My protege Francine Marie assists me, but the column is mine, and like all women, I AM the descendant of the Goddess. My name EVE suits me and my personality as a woman who thinks independently and is empowered by her own divine nature. So you must decide for yourself if I am the real thing. Priestess, Goddess, Crone, Psychic, Clairvoyant, Wisewoman, these are all words and She Who Knows does not fit easily under one label. You must follow your intuition, listen to your precious inner voice, it is never wrong.

This brings me to your question. I hear you asking--what is this powerful attraction to this man that frightens you? And what should or shouldn't you do about it. Well, my dear, life is messy and if it wasn't how would we go about getting any life experience? And how would we become any wiser? Yes, I do see that powerful attraction you have for this young man. He is doing the right thing getting a divorce from a relationship that is not suitable for him and he is also wise to be hesitant before getting involved with anyone right away. So you have both shown some restraint and wisdom. But I do see that you are a good match and you will not be able to resist each other for too much longer. You must follow your intuition about when is a good time, but I will tell you that your fear and hesitation do not come from the basis that he is bad for you, but from your feelings of fear from your previous relationship experience. So the road ahead is a little bumpy perhaps, but I see good things coming your way in this relationship providing you choose them and allow yourself to receive them, along with following your intuition about timing, intensity, etc. Yes, work romances have a sometimes negative reputation, but life is short, and when the opportunity for this kind of connection presents itself, at least go for the life experience rather than following the fear. I could tell you more about your past life connections but that is not necessarily useful at this point, and I would prefer to leave you to your discoveries rather than say anything else.
Best of luck to you, dear. Let me know what happens.
love, Ms. Eve.

Past Life Guilt

2007-08-19T10:11:00.000-07:00

Dear Ms. Eve,

I've been a big fan of yours for ages, ever since the pastor in my church had a conniption fit when I asked him if maybe Eve bit the apple because she was bored. (I was thinking Adam kind of sounded one dimensional, if you know what I mean)

Anyway, I don't know if you can help an old lady like me, but I thought I'd give this a try.

I'm eighty years old, my aura probably looks wrinkled, and I'm a widow since I was 61. My husband was not a traveler but he left me very comfortable and provided for so I have nothing bad to say about him. My children are after me with a serious campaign to enter a home and give up my garden and all the chores associated with it, in case I bust a hip and cost a lot of money in repairs I guess. One son-in-law in particular is calling me every week, he is a lawyer, and sends me pamphlets about fancy nursing home/retirement palaces. What I'd ever do to him? Do have what you call karma with this fellow? I've been avoiding answering the phone and missing calls from dear friends.

--Harassed In The Garden State.

Dear Harassed,

My very first recommendation for you is to get Caller ID immediately. This is a phone service for identifying your caller so you know who is calling before choosing to pick up. With telemarketing so bad these days, it's a must for everyone. This technological advance supports choice over feelings of duty or obligation. You have a right to your space, and why not talk to people when you feel is a good time for you rather than what is best for them? Then you can be really present for them rather than dragging yourself through the conversation.

As for your son in law, you are right, you do have some past life karma with him. But before I go on, I must encourage you to keep telling him you are not interested in leaving your home, and the subject is closed. If things get more serious, you will have to consult a family mediator and/or lawyer. I do see that trip you are planning in your aura and don't let your family tell you are too old to go to Italy--you have wonderful past lives in Italy, and much "good karma" to reap.

As for the karma with your son-in-law, my dear, it is in a past life in France during Roman Empire. He and your husband from this lifetime were both your sons and they were Roman soldiers dedicated to the Emperor and insistently arranged for you to live in a beautiful villa in the South of France and move from your beloved Rome. However, after they left and went to war your villa burned to the ground and was completely destroyed. All your wealth was gone and you were so traumatized you lived in the streets for a year, trying to remember who you were.
It took two years for your sons to find you but by then you were happily living in a much reduced circumstance, and had become a follower of Mary Magdalen. You had learned to make tinctures and remedies from the wild plants of the Languedoc region I believe and lived in a small home in the hills, perfectly happy. Your sons were never able to convince you to go back to your old life, which you regarded as a distant memory. They lived forever with the guilt of what happened to you and didn't not resolve it for themselves until this lifetime, where your husband resolved it for himself by taking such good care of you and letting you be, but your son-in-law continues to justify that he was right or is right. So, forgiveness, compassion and kindness are the wisest choices of action for you, now that you can have more understanding about why he is compelled to act as he does. However, stand your ground as you did so many hundreds of years ago, and keeping claiming the life that is right for you.
P.S. Darling, I don't see a single wrinkle in that gleaming aura of yours. Yours is an aura of a life well lived and wisdom intergrated into the present.
Love, Ms. Eve.

Am I just Lazy or What?

2007-08-17T11:28:00.000-07:00

Dear Ms. Eve,

Thanks so much for writing this column. I appreciate any feedback you can give me, though I'm kind of embarassed to ask, but here goes.

I am a really creative person, but I can't seem to stick to one idea or project. I love brainstorming for my friends and I seem to come up with some good ideas for them--not that they really appreciate it all the time--but anyway, I'm good at ideas. In fact people come to me for advice on business when my business is not always booming, but I give great advice. It's like I have the information but I'm not using it too much for me.

When it comes to implementing ideas or going forward for myself, I get stuck, and like, here it is 11 am and I am still in my bathrobe! (A really nice soft white one by the way that is the most comfortable thing I have). I have a ton of things to do. Am I just lazy?

Why am I moving so slowly? Should I go back to working in customer service for my old boss? They all said I was crazy to start my own business.

Frustrated Entrepreneur

Dear Frustrated Genius,

Honey, I can just see that huge fluffy white robe of yours, and I think it's time to take it off. While I am a great advocate of working at the computer in your pajamas, you have to set limits to how much time you sit there in your pajamas before getting dressed. I have found that too much pajama time tends to inspire me to laze around and want to pop bon bons and read magazines--which I love to do. So many strange people and lovely things to read about. Don't even mention distracting frivolous websites. I am suggesting a couple of changes in terms of your daily routine, and work apparel.

In the mornings, stay in your fluffy robe while you check email, sip your coffee or stimulant of choice, and do the basics in getting your day started. Then after a set period of time, for heaven's sake, get dressed. Find some gorgeous work at home apparel that is totally comfortable and validating, in colors that inspire you. But make the clothes something that you can also wear in public so you don't have to waste time in front of the closet changing again to go do errands and business appointments. Just because you are starting a business at home does not mean you can be a slob, even if you don't see anyone. Obviously, you are not expecting a fed ex with a fat check in it if your hair is sticking up like rooster comb and you've got 3 day old crumbs on your robe collar. And if you're not available (to slobby to answer the door) to take $$$ delivery, why should the universe send anything? Dressing like a slob does not inspire you right now, does it? Nevermind what other people do or that internet geniuses are ruling the world in their frayed ugly shorts and smelly flip flops. It hasn't worked for you so you must change it. All this advice is not clairvoyant you say? It is, because I know you like fine clothes and are a sensual and sensitive person who is affected by the vibration of what she wears. Dress yourself to inspire your most important asset: you.

Now, as for laziness, I think that is just a convenient self judgement for the limits you have within you about what you are "allowed" to have. It is so much easier to give away your energy and ideas for a little validation (or not, in the case of some of your praise-stingy friends)or for the hope of a little love.... or the secret relief of having an excuse for not doing. An excuse such as: I give it all away and nobody loves me! Or I am a victim of being too generous to ungrateful people! BOO HOO, darling!! Look at your choices and take charge of them. You must face your fears of being successful. What are they? This is going to take a little inner excavation dear, but you can do it and reprogram yourself for success. You can do it!

Just to give you encouragement, I do see shining brightly in your aura three great business creations, one which you have already embarked on, and I say, full steam ahead, go for it. The others look good , though one is just a fun side business that has to do with food, more like a hobby I think. Put your energy into the one you already started. A little later, get started with the other that you are looking at and have a lot of enthusiasm for, and just do the food one for fun, on the side until you just don't have time for it...or sell the food idea, it looks like it could sell to someone else. People will tell you that you should keep your focus on one business at a time, because it's hard enough to just get one business off the ground. But you are like me capable of running more than one at a time. I see the second one will be your real money maker, and the first is more heart connected that you will put energy into, but growth will be limited because you will only be interested in taking it to a certain level.
But anyway....No, darling, you are not really lazy, you just have got to realize that your actions are controlled a bit by the limits programmed within you, and you can heal those with a little attention and awareness. Yes, indeed you sure do have the business information and your intuition is all you need to follow. Now, I want you to practice keeping your customer service oriented mouth shut with the excessive free advice until you are well under way. Maybe by then you'll figure out that what people most need is someone to listen and give encouragement, not necessarily advice. You don't see me telling you how to actually run your business do you?

I see a hot pink as your healing color today. Maybe it's time to go shopping for work wardrobe with some hot pink in it....OOOhhh, I love a good excuse for shopping.

Love. Eve

A Strange Dream

2007-08-16T09:18:00.000-07:00

Dear Ms. Eve-She-Who-Knows,

Last night I had a really weird dream. I dreamt that I was with my family and we were traveling and I had four suitcases, two of which were falling apart and the other two were over stuffed, and we were trying to catch a flight. It was such an effort to get to the airport and everyone was being difficult. I hate traveling with too much luggage and I really felt like the whole trip--wherever we were-- was a waste of time or just not something I wanted to be doing. I felt bad being so grumpy with everyone but they were getting on my last nerve. I woke up needing some more rest. Then the next night in my dream my best friend was going on and on at me about needing me to pay her back some money I owed her. I'm exhausted. What's going on?

-- "Tired" in Texas.

Well, "Tired", just reading your email made be want to lie down for a snooze myself. I sense your exhaustion. And really, is there anything more tiring than traveling with family?
Thanks for addressing me by my full title, by the way.
Look kid, and I mean that knowing full well that you're about 40 years younger than me, it seems to me that you are in the middle of some great big new creative endeavor. That's what I see when I look at your aura. Lots of new stuff getting created and especially a new creative project, something to do with your work or career. I'd venture to say, it's a new business or something like that. And I love your dream because it is so beautifully symbolic of what we go through with our family karma sometimes when we are taking big steps in life, like starting a new business. It seems like everyone comes by to check out what we are doing. But for you, the symbolism of the luggage is about your spirit realizing that you are making some big changes away from the family patterns or limits on success and your family pictures of success don't work for you anymore. You can't make them work. One might venture to say that you are tired of trying, and even tired of the effort. So it is time to put down that luggage friend, you know you can't take your family everywhere anymore. That's OK. Your future is yours to create. Your healing color for this phase is a brilliant light green. I see that color alot in your aura right now, and let it flow. Think expansive thoughts. This is just a period of adjustment in your family communications space too. Let them be snippy with you if they must, but hold on to your dreams and don't waste time defending them. Just keep going.
Oh, and your friend has karma with you as a sister, so ditto for her, except, really her concern is that you won't be around for her anymore, to solve her problems or create for her. You get to choose how you renegotiate all your spiritual agreements, so maybe do a meditation and send her communication that you'll always be there .....or not....It's up to you. She seems pretty angry that you may be changing the agreement so some communication, spirit to spirit, is called for, but again, that's up to you.
Hey, I agree with you about the luggage too. I travel carry-on only, quality, lovely luggage, leather and stylish, but not much of it.
love, Ms. Eve.

Exorcism and Healing

2007-08-15T09:33:00.000-07:00

Dear Ms. Eve,

I am a lapsed Catholic but I believe that the Catholic expertise in Exorcism could be useful for dealing with my husband. Every other night he comes home pissed off about work and has some cocktails, or actually a couple of big drinks and then settles himself in front of the TV and watches the news channels. And then he starts yelling alot and cursing and acting like a real slob. This has only happened recently but it's getting to be a problem because I like who he is the rest of the week but I can't stand the SOB he becomes when he watches the news and drinks. Maybe it's the alcohol, maybe it's the news but he is like two different people. How can I get rid of the bad one? Then he snores all night and hardly remembers anything the next day and is sweet again. His job is really stressful so that's part of the problem. Anyway, should I go back to church and get some help there? I feel he is bringing a stranger into the house and I want to kick the stranger out.

--Married to Dr. Jekyll and Chained to Mr. Hyde (or is it the other way around?)

Dear Married/Chained,

My sympathies to you dear.
Well, I was thinking about the exorcism question, and I have to admit, the Catholics do have a certain flair for the drama of this type of healing. But before I suggest you go back to church for a full scale "extraction", lets take a look at what is going on.
As I look at what you are describing it seems to me you have a few problems to tackle--not just the unpleasant spirit that your husband channels when he is drinking. Yes, you are right he is channeling an entity, and that is not uncommon. After all, how many people describe their relative or friend just absolutely changing personalities after a few drinks?
But first of all there is your husbands job which is causing him so much stress. He is in a very bad "karmic" situation there in that the people who surround him at work are not in agreement to his success. And there is no sense being supported or of there being leadership or team management etc etc, whatever those business terms are. The vibration is more like a battlefield in a disorganized useless war. Everyone there is in a rut. I believe the best thing for your husband is to decide to believe he can do better and go out and create another job situation. Don't tell me it's impossible, because from where I sit, it looks possible, and your husband has some leadership qualities that need to be explored and used. When your husband is at work he believes he should be a team player and he unconsciously matches the energy/vibe/patterns--everything--of his co-workers. His values and dreams are out of place there. The question is (for him) --Why does he stay?

So he has got to make the commitment for both of you to get out of there and take the risk to do what he really wants. I suggest seeing a job counselor, a career coach, anything to help with this transition.
Now the entity he channels has been handed down through his father and grandfather etc etc--it has been with the family for 500 years. This is an opportunity for your husband to break free of this family pattern that has restricted the wellness in his male family line for so long. It usually comes in to the decendent's life in the 30s and through alcohol most easily, but also through the pain of thwarted ambitions and a sense of failure. It is up to your husband to decide if this will be his destiny. I suggest you gently open up some discussions about his father and grandfather and see if you can help him see the connections. If he can decide to bust through the limits of his forefathers, he will be fine and will begin to reclaim his authority over his own body and consciousness. Of course, cutting out the drinking until he can have this freedom of limits, and authority, is mandatory. I see that you two are a strong pair and can tackle this together. Show him the full length of my response letter (rather than this abbreviated version) on a good day, of course, and see what happens.
I'd hate to see you look in vain in the Catholic Church for the type of healing that you need, although, the church certainly has helped some. Of course, I kinda wonder when they first refined their skills--like, was it during the Inquisition? Just a quick look at the collective memories in our human consciousness of 800 years of Inquisition gives you plenty to think about.
Now, if we are talking a staight, normal-like psychic healing, no being tied to the bed for days and sweating blood and so on, for your husband, I definitely encourage you to explore the many types of energy healing out there. But the most important thing is that your husband wants this change, is engaged in it, and makes the commitment for himself. Meanwhile take good care of yourself dear, and don't worry, it is going to be OK.

Love, Ms.Eve